Squire’s Isle Created by Geonn Cannon

Calling it Quits

Summary: Alex and Rachel decide the end has come.

“I think we’re done.”

Rachel looked up and stared at her wife for a long moment to let what she had said sink in. “Oh.” She blinked in surprise and tapped her finger against her fork. They had been eating dinner together, a rarity given their schedules, and making plans for the weekend. Alex’s suggestion had come from nowhere. “Oh. Are you… sure?”

Alex nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I think the time has come. Do you disagree?”

“No, not necessarily.” She put her fork down. “It’s a big step.”

“Is it?”

Rachel shrugged. “It seems kind of monumental to me. It’s your decision, though.”

Alex said, “It’s our decision.”

“Right.” She wet her lips. “But the main reason we started going to therapy is because you needed to learn how to work out your issues with me. With what I’d done.” She closed her eyes. Therapy had also taught them not to skirt around their issues with euphemisms. “With the fact I kissed another woman. But it’s helped us become stronger.”

“Strong enough that I don’t think we have to go anymore. We still have issues, sure, but trust isn’t one of them. I accept my part in the kiss and I’ve been trying to work on my failings. We can do that without wasting half the day driving to the therapist’s office to talk it out.”

“Wasting?”

“I didn’t mean wasting as in… useless or without reason. I mean that if you and I are going to have four free hours on a Saturday, I would much rather spend those hours making love or watching a movie or… just sitting on the couch with you while you read.”

Rachel smiled. “So… we’re going to do it? We’re just going to stop going to therapy?”

Alex said, “I assume we’ll have to call Dr. Kellogg and inform her that we’re not going anymore. Is… I don’t know. There’s not a graduation or anything like that, right?”

“No, I don’t think so.” She sat back in her seat. “This is kind of exhilarating. No more therapy. Just you and me, trying to work things out on our own.”

Alex grinned. “Think we can handle it?”

“I’m kind of looking forward to trying.”

“Here’s to us.” Alex lifted her glass and held it out. “Even if we do have to go back to therapy, it won’t be a defeat because we’ve come far enough to try going it alone.”

Rachel tapped her glass against Alex’s. “Exactly. Cheers.” She smiled as she took a sip. She hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn when she asked Alex about their next trip to the mainland, but she was extraordinarily pleased with the outcome. They had been going to therapy for almost two years, since the night she kissed Zoe Hudson after a party. There was a brief period when she was positive she and Alex wouldn’t survive the stupid mistake, times when making the drive to Dr. Kellogg’s office felt like putting their relationship on life support, but now Alex wanted to try breathing on their own.

She accepted the fact that they may fail. But she was definitely going to bring her A-game.

 

#

 

The day before Christmas, Rachel ended her shift and dragged herself into bed at five minutes before three. Alex lifted her head off the pillow but Rachel put a hand on her shoulder to keep her from sitting up. She sat on her side of the bed to finish undressing before she got under the blankets. Alex was a few inches taller than her and broader at the shoulder, but Rachel sometimes liked to be the big spoon, curling against the big bad firefighter and cuddling her.

“When is your alarm?” she whispered.

“Six. I have something I want to tell you.”

Rachel sniffled and snuggled closer. “Is it important?”

“It can wait until six.”

“Good.” She stroked her fingers over Alex’s stomach and lifted the shirt she slept in. She flattened one hand against Alex’s stomach and slipped the fingers of her other under the waistband of her shorts. “Mm. You’re so warm.”

“Don’t start anything.”

“I’m not.”

Alex chuckled and stroked Rachel’s arms. Rachel didn’t remember falling asleep, but the next thing she knew the room was brighter and Alex had rolled over in her arms so they were facing each other. She blinked her eyes open and Alex came into focus. She smiled and kissed both cheeks and the tip of her nose, then her lips.

“Morning.”

“Good morning.”

Rachel tried to stretch her tired muscles with the least amount of actual movement. “What time do you have to be at work?”

“I have about an hour.”

“Good. Want to cuddle?”

Alex’s hand slid down to stroke Rachel’s hip.

“Oh. I see.” She smiled and squirmed under the blankets to get out of her pajama bottoms. “Get the egg. Does it have batteries?”

“Yeah.” Alex rolled over and opened the nightstand drawer. She retrieved the egg, switched it on to make sure it worked, and then rolled back. Rachel scooted forward and hooked her leg on Alex’s hip. She wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders to stroke the muscles of her back as Alex closed her hand around the egg like a magician palming a trick. Rachel’s eyes closed at the first contact of the toy, and she bit her bottom lip as Alex switched on the vibration.

“Can I tell you my news now?”

Rachel moaned, “Now?” She twisted her head and turned the word into a segmented whine.

“Mayor Hood-Colby gave me an early Christmas present…”

“Did she spank you?”

Alex grinned. “She found some money in next year’s budget.” She kissed Rachel’s cheek and just below her lips. “I thought she was going to give me a raise. But she said it was enough that I could hire a deputy chief.”

Rachel’s eyes opened. She continued rocking her hips against the toy, but her attention was on her wife’s face. “A deputy chief?”

“Uh-huh. I could rework the schedule. Make it so that I’m working when you’re working… I’m home when you’re home…”

Rachel pushed Alex onto her back and climbed on top of her. Alex settled back against the pillow and let her fingers slip around the egg. She aimed the toy at Rachel’s clit while she gently teased the folds of her labia. Rachel took off her shirt and tossed it aside. Alex’s eyes ran down her body before returning back to her face.

“Still think I’m beautiful?”

“You’ve gotten more beautiful since I met you.”

Rachel smiled and unbuttoned Alex’s pajama top. She pushed the two halves aside and ran her hands over Alex’s bare chest. “You’re beautiful. And you’re going to make me come.”

“That’s the general idea.”

Rachel curled her toes and arched her back, deciding to give Alex a show. She writhed and rocked her hips, moving against the smooth edge of the trembling toy before forcing Alex’s fingers deeper inside of her. She tightened her thighs on either side of Alex and marveled at her wife’s build. There had been times when they’d been making love, in bed or in the shower, and Alex would casually lift her up and reposition her. She loved being picked up, moved, carried, so long as it was Alex doing the lifting. She leaned forward with her hand in the center of Alex’s chest and held eye contact as she came. She surrendered the staring contest by squeezing her eyes shut, and Alex chuckled as she gathered Rachel to her chest and kissed her throat. The toy still buzzed between them, but Alex had moved it away from her sensitive skin.

“Nice way to wake up,” Alex said.

“Give me a second to catch my breath and I’ll show you a better way.”

“Ooh, promises promises.”

They held each other, sweat drying on their skin, until Alex reached up to brush the hair out of Rachel’s face.

“New deputy chief. Someone to split the time with… it’ll be a big change.”

Rachel said, “A change for the good, though. Right?”

“For me, definitely. But you might get sick of me.”

“I’ll take the risk.” She bumped her nose against Alex’s. “Do you know who you’re going to offer the job to?”

“There are a few volunteers who would do a good job. But Louis has more than earned it. The only sticking point is that if he goes full-time, he would have to quit his accounting job.” She finger-brushed Rachel’s hair. “If he says no there are some other people who would be just as good.”

“Well, whoever it is, I’m going to have to get them something really nice for Christmas. I owe them big-time for giving you to me all the time.” They kissed again until Rachel eased Alex’s lips apart with the tip of her tongue. She shifted her weight, and Alex spread her legs to let Rachel settle between them.

“Where ya goin’?” Alex asked.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

She kissed Alex’s chin, her neck, and then her breasts. Alex moved her feet further apart and planted them on the mattress. Rachel lay on her stomach and kissed her wife’s thighs. Alex curled her toes and put one hand behind her head, rested the other on the back of Rachel’s head, and lifted her hips ever so slightly to give Rachel a better angle. Rachel left an arch of kisses along Alex’s thighs, then used her tongue and bottom lip to part Alex’s folds. Alex grunted quietly in her throat and whispered Rachel’s name, stroking her hair as Rachel made love to her. First she used only her lips and tongue, tracing lines over Alex’s most sensitive spots before she wet her thumb and pressed the pad between Alex’s folds.

“Oh, God…”

“Close?” Rachel asked.

Alex groaned. Rachel smiled and teased Alex’s clit with her finger, then bent down and took it between her lips. Alex came in seconds, lifting up off the bed before dropping back down. Rachel smiled and held her tight. She only let go when Alex’s breathing evened out. She kissed Alex’s navel and then rested her head on her stomach.

“I know you have to go soon.”

“I have enough time for breakfast if you ever let me up to get it.”

Rachel said, “Hm. I’ll consider it.” She smiled and sat up. “I’ll go make you something.”

Alex hugged Rachel and flipped her onto the mattress. “You’re the one who has only been in bed for three hours. You rest, I’ll make you something. What do you feel like?”

“Big stack of pancakes, perfectly crisp bacon, a Denver omelet, hash browns, and Texas toast.”

“We’re out.”

“Of which?”

“Everything. So… scrambled eggs?”

Rachel laughed, “Scrambled eggs are fine.”

Alex kissed her and climbed out of bed. She put on a dress shirt and grinned over her shoulder at Rachel before she left the room. Rachel waved to her, then gathered the blankets around herself. She retrieved the vibrator and put it back in the drawer, then hugged her pillow and stared out the window as she waited for her sleepiness to fade. When Alex left for work she would go back to bed for an hour or two, but it was still difficult to pull herself up. She closed her eyes for just a moment, dreaming of bacon and an actual full breakfast that Alex couldn’t cook. She woke with her mouth watering and her phone buzzing. She grunted as she turned the phone on to see the message.

“You went back to sleep, didn’t you? – A”

She hollered, “You think you’re so clever!” She kicked away the blankets, grabbed one of Alex’s department T-shirts, and rubbed her eyes as she went out into the kitchen. The smell of a full breakfast persisted as she went down the hall, but she was so sleepy that she didn’t make the connection until she saw the food waiting for her on the table. Alex was in her usual space, and held out one hand to indicate the spread.

“What is this?”

“Bacon, pancakes, hash browns…”

Rachel said, “I can see all that. Why is it here?”

“When Mayor Hood-Colby told me I could hire a deputy, I knew we would have this morning together. I knew I would tell you today, and it’s Christmas, so I thought it would be nicer to have the breakfast you wanted instead of my shitty scrambled eggs.”

“I love your scrambled eggs,” Rachel said. “But the effort is so very appreciated.” She walked around to Alex’s seat. Alex leaned back and Rachel faced her to straddle her lap. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

They kissed, and Alex tenderly cupped Rachel’s breasts through her T-shirt. Rachel broke the kiss and clucked her tongue.

“You have to go to work soon.”

“What if I told you my evil plan was I had this all delivered, my hour deadline was when the food was supposed to arrive, and I don’t have to go in until noon?”

Rachel’s eyes sparkled. “I would say that’s entirely evil.”

“Then let’s say it’s a Christmas miracle, no planning involved.”

They kissed for a bit until Alex whispered that the food was getting cold. Rachel kissed her again before she rose and moved to her seat.

“You know, we might have to get used to this. Breakfast together, dinners eaten at home instead of from to-go boxes in the on-call room. We could get downright domestic. Even if we are having lunch at three in the morning after our night shifts.”

Alex chuckled. “I can’t wait. Besides, I think this is a better use of our time than talking to Dr. Kellogg. Talking to each other. Or anticipating what the other might need or want. Therapy did its job, but now we’re ready to take the wheel for ourselves.”

“Right. And it’ll be easier with us working the same shifts.”

“But just because it’s easier, just because we’ve come a long way and we’re stronger than ever… that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy. It’s going to be tough some days. We’re going to fight.”

Rachel nodded. “Oh, definitely. Considering how often you’re wrong.”

Alex pursed her lips and tried not to smirk. “As long as we don’t focus on who wins. It’s not about me versus you. No matter what the fight is, the relationship has to be the winner. Every time.”

“Hear, hear. Dr. Kellogg would be proud. I think she’ll be happy to see us go.”

Alex picked up her glass of orange juice and tapped it against Rachel’s milk. “To calling it quits, happy endings, and whatever comes next. We got through the hard part.”

“We did.”

They drank, and then settled in for what would be the first of many meals they would be having together in the future.

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